Android Phones, Final Fantasy V, Rake Fights, Lies

me:  shit breaks have taken on a whole new meaning now that I have a Game Boy Advance emulator on my phone

Marty:  hahahah they've become a lot longer eh?

me:  a teensy bit

i think my bowels will slowly take me through Final Fantasy V Advance

Marty:  How did you find this emulator?? Is it an android phone?

me:  yep

emulators can be easily obtained in the Google Play store. They're free and plentiful

a simple google search for __________ can easily net you some games

point: Android

Marty:  Damn. I gotsta get me an android phone

me:  now, i'm using touch screen controls, which suck monkey nuts

so i'll probably never play a Mario game with it

but for FFs, Fire Emblems, and the like, it's the cat's pajamas

...

...

Marty:  Sorry sorry!

There was a domestic going on a few doors down

its like a live action reality show

me:  whoa!

see if there are any captive women in there

be a hero

Marty:  No, its a shouting match between two women

One is a "FUCKING JOKE"

apparently

Although no one was laughing

me:  lesbian domestic disputes are things you just don't see very often on Cops

Marty:  I use the term domestic loosely

Its a fight. With girls

AnD HOLY SHIT ONE JUST RIPPED OFF THE OTHER'S HAIR

A HUGE CHUNK

SCRATCHES

now neighbours are jumping over the fence

one ha a rake

me:  oh man!

Marty:  she's swingn with the rake

hit hit hit

there's blood

dog is in it

me:  oh my god!

is this actually happening?!

Marty:  dog is totally attacking other lady

me:  holy fuck

Marty:  just kidding

thought I'd spice it up

me:  FUCK YOU

Marty:  hahahahaha

me:  hahahaha

you absolutely had me

Marty:  I know. I was thinking up a whole 20 minutes of escalating action

me:  goddammit

a BioShock Infinite Review, Stairs, Michael Bay, OPTIMISM!

  Marty: Good morning sir

9:16 AM me: and hello

  poop time

  tell me what's up and I'll respond soon

11 minutes

9:28 AM me: ok i'm back

  and disappointed at the lack of conversation

 Marty: Sorry buddy.

  We are getting work done to our stairs

 me: ARE YOU

  oh really

9:29 AM Marty: So Mr. Handyman arrived

  And we were just discussing life altering decisions like what stair nosing would look great with stained plywood

  *loads gun slowly

  See, the problem is the stair isn't level with the platform

  *raises to mouth

  So in order to make the nosing fit, we are now going with a slight extra layer of plywood on the top step

  *clicks safety off

9:30 AM Which shouldn't be a problem, but a metal equalizer may be needed

  *cries

  End of story

9:31 AM me: one sec

9:36 AM holy shit!

  you're life is fascinating!

 Marty: Dude. I'm surprised Michael Bay hasn't bought the rights

 me: matter of time!

9:37 AM Marty: You think??

 me: OPTIMISM

  so i think this weekend is going to be bioshock

  but we'll see

  i was supposed to do tomb raider two weeks ago

 Marty: NO!

  NOOO

9:38 AM Listen

  Just

  Fucking listen

  I'm tired of this BioShock avoidance shit. PLAY BIOSHOCK INFINITE

 me: but

  b-but

 Marty: NO

  Hot damn. Just...

  You test my patience sometimes John, you really do

Seriously?

 me: want to hear something funny?

 Marty: hit me

 me: remember that blog i was doing that was just our conversations?

  Conversations with Games "Journalists"

9:52 AM Marty: hah yeah

 me: for whatever reason, it's been getting traffic over the past few days

  not a lot, but it's happening

 Marty: ?

  Odd. From where?

 me: no clue

  just funny

9:56 AM Marty: Hah. That is. We're on the rise!

 me: haha

9:57 AM the one with the most clicks over the past few days is only like 4 lines long, too

  it's the shortest one

 Marty: Which one is that?

 me: http://talkinggameswriters.blogspot.com/2012/04/feature-posting.html

16 minutes

10:19 AM Marty: Hahah we're funny

 me: seems that way

10:20 AM Marty: Who are these people. Did you edit these?

 me: nope

  all us

  and our moufs

 Marty: Crazy

  You should post this. make is a meta-post

 me: MAYBE I WILL

 Marty: We should make t-shirts

  and branded USBs

10:21 AM me: we ain't getting that much traffic

 Marty: Oh! Bobble heads

  I'll call E3, get a booth

 me: but we can always make bobble heads

  yes

  people can just sit there and watch us type

 Marty: Or just watch us talk

 me: think we're on to something