Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Android Phones, Final Fantasy V, Rake Fights, Lies

me:  shit breaks have taken on a whole new meaning now that I have a Game Boy Advance emulator on my phone
Marty:  hahahah they've become a lot longer eh?
me:  a teensy bit
i think my bowels will slowly take me through Final Fantasy V Advance
Marty:  How did you find this emulator?? Is it an android phone?
me:  yep
emulators can be easily obtained in the Google Play store. They're free and plentiful
a simple google search for __________ can easily net you some games
point: Android
Marty:  Damn. I gotsta get me an android phone
me:  now, i'm using touch screen controls, which suck monkey nuts
so i'll probably never play a Mario game with it
but for FFs, Fire Emblems, and the like, it's the cat's pajamas
...
...
Marty:  Sorry sorry!
There was a domestic going on a few doors down
its like a live action reality show
me:  whoa!
see if there are any captive women in there
be a hero
Marty:  No, its a shouting match between two women
One is a "FUCKING JOKE"
apparently
Although no one was laughing
me:  lesbian domestic disputes are things you just don't see very often on Cops
Marty:  I use the term domestic loosely
Its a fight. With girls
AnD HOLY SHIT ONE JUST RIPPED OFF THE OTHER'S HAIR
A HUGE CHUNK
SCRATCHES
now neighbours are jumping over the fence
one ha a rake
me:  oh man!
Marty:  she's swingn with the rake
hit hit hit
there's blood
dog is in it
me:  oh my god!
is this actually happening?!
Marty:  dog is totally attacking other lady
me:  holy fuck
Marty:  just kidding
thought I'd spice it up
me:  FUCK YOU
Marty:  hahahahaha
me:  hahahaha
you absolutely had me
Marty:  I know. I was thinking up a whole 20 minutes of escalating action
me:  goddammit